The Riot of Rage - part 1

The below writing is about my experience as a woman in a woman’s body and my personal reaction and opinion. I’m well aware that this is a conversation that needs to happen in a broader sense and include all genders. However, my devotion is to the feminine and her many facets.

The Riot of Rage – part1

Stepping outside he said: If you women want equality you have to do it the way we men do it.

That comment came after a heated exchange that started out with all sorts of controversial statements on his part because he wanted to have an interesting conversation and not have to be ‘politically correct’. Not only was he not politically correct but he held views on women (and the world) that were downright ignorant.

#MeToo is just an attention grabbing media hype (so is #blacklivesmatter).

Why would women make accusation against Weinstein 20 years after the fact? They wanted to f**k him. If not, they could just have kicked him in the nuts. Why would they sleep with a guy if they didn’t want to?

This man, over a decade younger than me, claiming to be intellectual and well read, said things that were so arrogant, confronting and dismissive of the female population that at first I sat there dumbstruck and speechless.

The rage that rose up still creates chaos in my system. It sits like a dense ball in my belly. A ball with spikes that are bound by conditioning to be agreeable but would like to be freed to lash out, to hit, to destroy. Rage against that part of our population that thinks if women want to be equal to men, they should just behave like them.

The thing is, we are not built like men! Not physically, not psychologically, not emotionally.

Our upbringing didn’t teach us to hit, it taught us to be accommodating. In our culture we talk about a man’s achievement, his misbehaviour is forgivable even when it’s highly questionable. Women’s achievements are far less visible. If we misbehave, we get called all sorts of names and get ostracised.

We have not been taught to fight but to please. We don’t know how take up weapons (metaphorically speaking) nor how to yield them.

I believe that is true for my generation as well as the younger ones.

I explained to him that women tend to go into a freeze state when in danger. And danger to a woman can be a man that wields his power (Weinstein et al). The evolutionary imprint is still strong.

So is the imprint of thousands of years of oppression that we women experienced. Through the science of epigenetics, we now know that we carry our female ancestors’ experiences on a part of our DNA as well as all aspects of trauma up to eight generations back!

I myself have experienced sexual boundary ruptures. As so many women have and still do.

I told my own story as an example of what freeze can do and why it happens.

He thought I was looking for pity. I thought a lived example would make him understand.

He thought I could have hit the perpetrator. I tried to explain why that was not possible for me to do at that moment.

His answer was that me talking about the past we women carry was an excuse, has no bearing and that we can just behave in a different manner.

If only it were that simple!

He dismissed that trauma sits in our body, that he might not know the whole story of a woman’s life.

He dismissed.

He dismissed everything I said.

With no empathy and with no compassion.

Next to the riot of rage sits the deep spiral of sorrow.

Sorrow for human beings that can’t feel empathy or compassion for someone else. This is not to outright agree with what the other says but to make an effort to understand. How can we bring about change if we don’t even listen to the other side? Looking at what happens on and to our planet makes the sorrow a bottomless pit.

But the rage that rose up re-activated my fierce beliefs, my reason for being and doing the work of guiding women to their sensual, sexual and sovereign core.

 Learning to yield my weapons with deep love and kindness,

 Theres