PENCILS, CHOCOLATE, TEA

This spring I went to a women’s retreat in Portugal with my embodiment teacher and mentor.

One afternoon we were asked to come to the practice room. There, a long table was set up with flowers, chocolate, cups filled with pencils, and delicious smelling cold tea. We were instructed to choose a seat for an afternoon of coloring.

What strange assignment, I thought. I had expected to be doing more of our movement practices. 

We were given a black and white drawing of a goddess to color in and were instructed to have chatter going at all times.

But not in little side conversations as it usually happens when a larger group of women come together but one woman at a time had to talk about something while the others listened. It could be about anything, except business. The chatting had to go on at all times, no stopping. 

And so, the afternoon went. Coloring, chatting, drinking this delicious tea, and eating a bit of chocolate her and there.

Three hours later I found myself completely relaxed and in an exquisite state of bliss.

My nervous system, my body, my mind in complete alignment. All of me felt soft and open.

Looking back at my life, I’ve always done that. Taken time out from the everyday to explore the unusual. It was and still is my form of self-care. My way of filling my tank, the way of reconnecting to all of who I am.

It’s something that I started when the kids were older. So much of life happened when they were little that it didn’t leave time for extensive reflection and certainly no time for this kind of self-care. Sometimes it felt as if surviving a day was enough.

One way I remember I down regulated my body from what I now know was a fight or flight response of my nervous system (a lot of stress will do that), was by taking conscious breaths.

I’d sit behind my house on the same bench I’m sitting now to write, and take deep conscious breaths. If I got five in, I was lucky. Over time I had the kids sit next to me and told them I needed two minutes to close my eyes and breathe. Let me tell you, two minutes felt incredibly luxurious and so soothing!

Like being with a group of women, listening, really listening to each other and using all of our senses. SIMPLE, yet so effective.

I think simple is good. In our extremely busy lives where we don’t always allow ourselves to take time, we can handle simple.

But we can take a couple deep breaths with closed eyes, and we can invite other women for tea, a glass of wine, with the simple task that only one woman at a time speaks and the others listen.

Conversations in the group in Portugal ranged from funny stories to what we experience as we’re getting older. Our group covered all ages. 20 to 65. Well, you know which one I was…

I loved this afternoon so much and kept thinking how on earth can I replicate something like that in the little town I live in. It seemed an unsolvable task.

But what I had forgotten was that I had joined the local pottery studio. There is only room for 4 women at the time. Each working at a unique piece, sometimes chatty sometimes quiet, sometimes we have aperitivo because it is that time of day.

And I find myself coming away from the three hours in the company of a few other women oddly satisfied and happy.