3 simple things

Not too long ago I was invited to a new local restaurant. They served beautifully arranged food on small plates with the idea that people order several of them and share. I had a first taste and loved how the textures and tastes filled my mouth. As I kept eating though I couldn’t remember what I had tasted first. My mouth got all confused by the variety and combination of the ingredients. And I left the restaurant disappointed and with my senses overloaded.

Very often it is the same with sex. We overcook it with ideas about how it has to be and end up relating to those same ideas and not to our partner.

We dress sex up so much that we lose touch with this most potent form of energy.

All we really need to have fulfilling sex are three ingredients:

Simplicity, Attention, Desire.

Bringing it back to Simplicity means taking away what we usually add: the fantasies, the toys, the positions, our value judgments that we tell in the hope that the sex gets better.

It means to get back in touch with the experience and sex itself, the pure sensation.

What if you would take the time and feel your partner more deeply and pay attention to the subtle sensations in your body? Explore the texture, temperature, smell, and taste, using all your senses.

It might just create a new experience of intimacy.

There is Attention with its mysterious power.

If you choose to cultivate attention and slow down, you will be drawn in by the novelty of the discovery you are making. You will come to a deeper place where you can let go and sink into a richer place of pleasure and sensations. Just feel the simple truth of what is and don’t get pulled into self-criticism or anything else that takes you away from being in the moment. You can expand your capacity for enjoyment through your senses and it will open you to passion and to being in awe of your life.

Sex is not a place to check out but an opportunity to deepen your engagement.

And Desire is your Compass to live by, the beacon that calls you home.

Can you feel the clear bubbles rising in your belly, the hum of the bees in your chest, the delicious, sweet pull of arousal that is filling your body?

It guides you toward nourishment and pleasure. If you use desire as your compass, you are guided to choose what is most fulfilling and experience pleasures that are nourishing to your system.

Not only with food and sex but every other aspect of your life will be more satisfying as well.

There it is right before me. Perfect in its roundness and color; yellow bleeding into orange and red. And there is the silhouette of the leaf that protected against the sun. The smell of ripe summer makes my mouth water.

I want it.

My lips touch the fuzzy skin. It is velvety and smooth at the same time. My tongue brushes against the surface which resists just a little.

I bite into it and the taste, sweet and warm, explodes in my mouth. Soft, silky and the juices drip down my chin.

I close my eyes and let summer wash over me.